Dear Younger Self,
What’s up? How are you? If this letter is reaching you correctly, you’re sitting on your couch waiting for the Tuesday, Oct. 20 episode of The Bachelorette to begin, thinking it’s going to be the funny, occasionally cringe-worthy but ultimately silly time that it usually is. Well, this is your slightly older self from right after the Tuesday, Oct. 20 episode of The Bachelorette ended, and we’re here to tell you it’s not. It’s a weird one. It gets deep and awkward and heavy in a way you weren’t expecting.
Sure, there are blind folds and strip dodgeball, but there’s also desert screaming and a somewhat unexpected reaction to the concept of strip dodgeball. Still, it is not as fun as you imagined it might be, even with all the butts. The butts are weirdly sad—like emotionally, not physically.
Sorry this was such a stupid use of time travel. Drink some water please!
Love, your slightly older, slightly thirstier self.