It’s been seven months since The Oval‘s First and Second Ladies threw down in the middle of the White House, a brawl that sent both women flying over the side of a balcony.
Tuesday’s long-awaited Season 5 premiere revealed that both Victoria and Simone survived the fall, and while lesser women might have been down for the count, these two champions bounced right back and resumed their fisticuffs. Victoria even coerced the Secret Service into holding Simone back while she snuck in a few extra hits. But the cherry on top was definitely Victoria shouting “Lock her up!” as her nemesis was dragged away kicking and screaming.
Anyway, after beating the Second Lady’s ass, Victoria sauntered over to the Oval Office, where she discovered her coked-out husband passed out on the floor. The situation quickly escalated when the White House doctors deemed it a fentanyl overdose (yikes!), and Hunter was wheeled out before Victoria could brag a single word about her latest victory. And bragging is half the fun.
Fortunately, Victoria was awarded a second opportunity to boast during a phone call with Eli. “Your wife came here and we fought like two hood bitches over a piece of chicken,” she told him with a sick, satisfied grin plastered across her face. Eli pretended to care about Simone for about 15 seconds, then connected some very important dots — with Hunter temporarily out of commission, does that make him president?
Over at the police station, Allan and Dale exchanged smoldering glares as they processed their mutual involvement in the apparent drug ring being operated out of Kareem’s pharmacy. While Allan remained in custody, his future boyfriend (remember that we called it!) agreed to help him hide a mysterious box back at his apartment.
Elsewhere this week: Donald was revealed to be very much alive, thanking the “hot piece of ass” in his bed for taking the bullets meant for him; Jason, who’s now going by “Mike,” was taken by a cult member to meet with the Highest; and a confused Nancy woke up in the hospital with no memory of taking pills and/or trying to hang herself, instead accusing Richard of choking her.
But the truly W-T-F moment of the night (and you know The Oval always gives us at least one) came at the very end of the hour. Following an extremely uncomfortable rendezvous in Bobby’s hotel room, Priscilla tried to make a graceful exit, only for Sam to bust in and pump Bobby’s chest full of bullets. And in true Oval fashion, he followed that move with an absolutely unhinged line to his wife: “Bitch, get home and wash my f–ing clothes.” What?!
Your thoughts on The Oval‘s dramatic return? Do you think Bobby is really dead? (This show has fooled us before!) Grade the season premiere below, then drop a comment with your full review.